Tired of dates not looking like their photos? Do This!

You never really know what you’re getting yourself into when you move from meeting someone online to going on your first in-person date with them.

You probably have a million variations of the following questions running through your mind:

• Do they really look like their photos?

• Will they be as funny as they are online?

• Are they a modern-day Ted Bundy?

Just kidding. Well, kinda.

Stretching the Truth

I cannot count the number of times I’ve had clients and friends tell me that they went on a date with someone they met online, and then couldn't even recognize them in person. They said that their date’s photos were so old that their hairline was in a different place or that they’d used so many filters on their photos that they looked like a completely different person. 

The act of “catfishing” with photos that don’t look like your "current" self has always puzzled me. Does the person misrepresenting themselves with old and/or doctored photos really think that once their date meets them that they'll be so impressed by their charisma or personality that they will ignore the fact that they don’t look like their photos?

I’m sure there are exceptions to this, but I would say this is mostly not the case in successful first dates. Men and women — straight or otherwise — are all guilty of misrepresenting themselves on the internet. **cough cough understatement of the century**

Here are some red flags to watch out for on dating apps:

1. They're wearing hats in every photo (hat fishing).

2. All of the selfies are taken from the chest up.

3. Snapchat filters are used in every single photo.

4. The photo "feels" old based on what you see.

5. They have no full-body photos.

6. Sunglasses are being worn in EVERY photo.

7. They only have one photo (Who do you think you are, Oprah?).

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words...Or Is It?
So, once you decide to meet up for a date, how do you ensure the person you think you’re going out with is really who they appear to be on their dating profile?

First off, DO NOT ask them for photos without a filter, or request a full-body photo. Doing so will come off as rude, and you will undoubtedly risk being unmatched and losing them as a potential date. 

Instead of losing this potential connection by asking them for a current photo, you have two options:

1. You can do your best to find them on social media (except for LinkedIn - it shows when you view their profile and that’s creepy).

2. Ask them to schedule a video chat, but DO NOT just randomly video call them out of the blue.

A video chat saves you time and frustration on so many levels of dating. This way you can know what you’re getting yourself into BEFORE you walk out of the door for your first date. 

Final Thoughts

We all change. 

Thank god. 

We age. We lose and gain weight. We lose and grow hair in different (sometimes unwanted) places.

So ask yourself, how well do your current dating profile photos represent you? 

Here’s how you can test it out — Take a photo of yourself right now and compare them side by side to your dating profile photos. Be honest with yourself, do they look like different people? If so, it may be time to update those photos, my friend.

(Need an affordable photographer? Message me and I’ll help you find one in your area.)

Regardless of where you are in your dating after divorce journey please remember this - there is nothing sexier than confidence. Lead with confidence and you will be FAR better off than starting something with someone new who is holding their phone out and squinting their eye against the crowd saying, “Is that them?!”

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